Coffee Chats | Self Pressure

Hi again everyone! So, today I have a more deep chat focused post. I haven’t done a Coffee Chats post in what feels like ages. Since my audience has grown quite a lot since my last Coffee Chats post, I thought I’d explain the idea of it real quick. So, Coffee Chats is essentially a blog post series here on my blog. The posts always have a deep chat subject. I’ve done one about beauty, one about not being good enough etc. The idea of the blog post is that I write how I feel and think about the subject and then the comment section is very open for what’s on my lovely readers’ mind. A very important part is the coffee. The idea is that the blog posts and comments would be something we’d discuss over a cup of coffee – a chilled, calm and intriguing talk.

For today I thought we’d talk about self pressure. I know a lot of people are starting school in the following weeks (including myself!!) and the topic seemed very fitting. Personally, I’ve learned a lot about self pressure over the last couple of years. If you don’t know, I got stress (not the feeling, the “diagnose” although that word makes me sound like I was incredibly ill) in my first year of highschool (great start, right? I hope you detect my sarcasm). I’d essentially put WAY too much pressure on myself. I was constantly convincing myself that I should be 105% full of energy every single minute of the day, make my homework A++++++++ worthy and have LOADS of energy and time for making new friends, blogging, working out etc. as well. Yes, this is obviously unmanageable for anyone without having some sort of reaction.

This got me thinking – Why did I do all of the above to myself? Why was I convinced that this would benefit me? Why didn’t I step back and calm down? Well, I’m not sure I have all of the answers to my questions, however, I do know that I’ll never do this to myself again. I think self pressure is important in order for personal development. It’s what makes us learn, change and become. But like many other things in life it’s about finding a suitable balance.

In terms of school, I care very much about how I do in school. However, it’s not because I want to make every aspect of my life perfect. No, I care about school simply because I absolutely LOVE learning. I know many people (at some points including myself) whom put a lot of pressure on themselves when it comes to school. From what I’ve learned over the last few years I have to say…. Firstly, your grades don’t equal your worth. If you do an awful assignment, it doesn’t mean your awful. This may sound extremely obvious, however, I know that everyone feels better about themselves when there’s an A on the assignment and not a D. I’m not going to judge because I feel like this too. However, we mustn’t let grades affect us too much.

Secondly, remember to prioritise yourself and your health first, school, making friends, working out and parties come second. Again this seems obviously though so many people still don’t prioritise in that order. I’m not here to blame, I’m here to remind and help. It can be scary sometimes to put your friends on hold and prioritise a month of quite nights reading books, binging Netflix and having baths. However, if your friends can’t understand that you need nights like those, then perhaps they weren’t the right friends for you.

Thirdly, when it comes to school I’ve promised myself that I am not expecting to do every single bit of homework og make A+ assignments day in and day out. No, if I have a day where my energy level is at 60% I’ll go through the day with that 60% of energy and not trying to force myself to have a 100%. It truly is like charging your phone. If it has only got 30% you can’t expect it to last like there was a 100% on it, you’ve got to put it in the charger and wait for it to be ready – meaning, you’ve got to recharge as well (although please don’t start to charge yourself with an actual charger lol – it was only a metaphor)

I think we’ll wrap it up there. Please, please, PLEASE make sure to write whatever you feel like in the comments section (although if it’s too mean it’s not for the public to see – just saying). Let me know what your thoughts and experiences are on self pressure. Also, I hope you all have a lovely week and a great start at school, uni, collage, work or what ever you’re doing after the summer holiday.

Lots of love from

Karen xx

25 Comments

  1. Lazarus Shatipamba

    Thanks Karen, for wishing us well when we get back to school, and for writing this much-needed relatable blog post. It’s definitely something I’d have a chat over a cool cup of coffee with you. I too love school because of my passion for learning, so as a result I find myself stressing a lot when it comes to how well I’m doing. I constantly put myself under pressure to perform because like you said it does affect the way we see ourselves. But in honor of the wisdom you shared I’ll try to take it easy and not stress myself over things that don’t really define me. I think what you mentioned about focusing on ourselves–our health and well-being–is really important. In regards to your metaphor, I agree completely that we can’t literally charge ourselves with chargers. But we need to recharge and make sure our energy levels are powerful enough to get us through the day. That’s why it is so important to get enough sleep. As students we sometimes shun our beds in favor of spending nights in the library, but it’s vital to put the books away and get enough rest. It’s the only way we can perform at our best.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Karen Wodstrup

        No, don’t worry. I love when people are engaged and take their time to really reflect on my words. I’m just as interested in my readers’ feedback on my posts as the post in it self. Again, thanks for reading!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen Wodstrup

      This is just the loveliest and most well reflected comment ever. I’m SO SO glad you read this post, and that you’ll remind yourself to slow down and recharge before we completely destroy our mental health. Thank you SO much for reading, it really ment the world to me this comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. nirajshah2003

    Nice blog! Self – pressure has been something I have been guilty of for ages, and trust me it can be detrimental. It doesn’t help you in the long run, even if you think it helps you in the short run. Love this post and thanks for sharing!

    Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Marieke

    Thanks for this post. I think it’s what a lot of people need to hear. I’m starting school again soon. And I’m actually terrified, but also excited. It’s been a while since I’ve been studying and I’m wondering if I can still do it. But I decided that I’m gonna do it at my own pace, and only do things that I am capable of. I want this to make me happy, not sad. And I remember me putting so much pressure on myself before made me so sad before and it only made things worse. Being anxious not to be good enough, only contributed to me getting bad grades… and vice versa. I was running in circles. I want to wish you the best of luck! You can do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen Wodstrup

      Thank you so much for reading! I feel so lucky, that you’d share your story here. I 100% recognise this feeling. School and work is meant to make you happy, and not sad and anxious. I wish you the best possible start at school! You can do it! ❤️ xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. chloeburford

    Chatty posts are my all-time favourite to read and this is a topic we all need to hear! I struggle so much with self pressure on a daily basis and always tend to beat myself up if I don’t do things to a certain standard which is absolutely ridiculous but is very reassuring to know I am not the only one. It is so important to put our health first so thank you so much for sharing! xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Karen Wodstrup

      You’re far from the only one who struggle with self pressure. I totally agree that this topic is so important to anyone, and it’s important to be aware of how we’re treating our mental health. I’m so happy you liked this post, and that you found it helpful. Thank you so much! xxx

      Like

  5. Anna Coleman

    I loved this post Karen! It was something I really needed to hear, and I have stress as well, so I could relate. i love the idea of a coffee chats blog series!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The Style of Laura Jane

    I feel there is this idea now that we’re suppose to have every area of our lives organised at every given moment. Career, money, friends, love, education, fitness….. despite not being in school now, I can really relate to your thoughts on self pressure. I use to link my grades to my self-worth (anything less than expected and I was a failure) and I can see myself doing it now even with a simple blog post. The need to be perfect and for every post to be as good as the last. Lovely post and a great reminder to re-evaluate prioritise x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen Wodstrup

      I feel the exact same. As if the norm is to have every aspect of live sorted and organised – like that’s not reality for anyone really. I also get the feeling of self pressure around blog posting. I definitely think a lot about how my last blog post was compared to the one I’m writing. However, I’ve decided to calm down and accept that no one’s life (including my own) can be the ultimate 100% best 24/7. I’m glad you read my post, and that it was a reminder of how we need to see ourselves sometimes xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. crystalsandcurls

    I love your coffee chats posts, Karen! Glad to see another one 🙂 I definitely think self pressure is a massive thing we all struggle with – I think there’s just SO MUCH exposure to everything we can do and achieve that it begins to feel like we should. Not to mention the constant stress levels of the world. Lack of job opportunities, the cost of living being high, yada yada yada…. It might just be me, but I feel so much pressure to do as much as I can and be as successful as I can ASAP just to get myself in a good place financially xx (also, I’m running a collab month in september and I always love how high quality your post are – would you want to take part?)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Karen Wodstrup

      Oh I definitely feel the same way! Like we’re running, reaching and working towards a goal that I’m not always too sure about for who’s sake I’m achieving it for. I get the financial stress! It’s just a constant cloud hanging over your head isn’t it… However, I think it’s important to remember that the both of us are still young and no one should expect for us to be in the perfect financial position.
      Oh I’d absolutely LOVE to collab with you! Your posts have always inspired me and I’ve always looked forward to read them. Let me know what you have in mind xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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